Challenges Between Black Men and Women

Chapman Article:
I feel like the first solution would be to strengthen the black family but most importantly the black males in the family.  Encouraging them to succeed and have more educational goals as opposed to goals that entail making into a professional sport, would benefit the community and bring the ratio of men and women that are educated closer together.  Secondly, providing more positive images in the media would help demolish some of the negative stereotypes we have circulating amongst the community.  It would help black women be respected for more than their bodies and allow men the opportunity to show that they are than their brute strength and that they are capable of bearing children and taking responsibility.  Lastly,  I feel that if when dating men and women really took things slow and planned for a life that this could benefit the black relationship positively.  This would also give them the opportunity to really get to know one another and build their relationship before having children out of wedlock and beginning a marriage in an already unstable environment

A Counseling Perspective

Stereotypes about black men and women have put these two at odds, negatively impacting the black family.  It has made them incompatible because they automatically assume the worse of each other.  The 3 areas of Issues and Approaches addressed were enhancing effective communication, confronting negative stereotypes and processing grief and loss.  All of these will help strengthen the black family because these are all issues that affect them greatly.

Anti-Intimacy Beliefs

1)I’m not good enough to be loved

            Many times people feel as if they can not find a partner because there is something wrong with them.  This is the same thing that slave owners would do with slaves that they owned.  They would dehumanize them, constantly trying to devalue them and make them feel as if they were nobody, essentially making their psyche weak.  Many slaves did not feel or see love and it’s sad to say that this same psyche, because of the destruction of the black family, has caused several blacks today to continue thinking this way. 

2.) No matter what I do, it won’t make a difference

            Slaves were given no rights and were only told that they were good to work doing physical labor.  They were made to live this way through violence and verbal threats, which made them fear if they stepped out of place nothing good would come of it.  They ultimately believed that they had no control over what they could do in life and were made to believe that they could not alter their living situation even if they tried. 

Being a Man about it

Men defined manhood as holding responsibility, Being able to provide, autonomy, and maintaining spirituality.  I noted the two emerging themes in the article to be responsibility and manhood.  It was very interesting that they did not mention sexuality as criteria.  I immediately assumed men felt that their sexual conquers would have something to do with how they identified reaching manhood. 

       

Male-Female Relationships Disscussion

This article highlights some of the pressing issues in Black America and exposes the reasons Black women and men find themselves at different ends when it comes to builing a relationship.  Historical issues and contemporary issues have plagued many black men to seek relationships with white women and black women to find comfort in education and economic status for stability.  Until we tackle the pressing issue of available black men being prisoners in the system and fix the problems with education and financial stability, we will see this barrier in black America continue in thier relationships.

I've posted a video that consists of a dialouge of indidviduals discussing the issues that they feel alter relationships.  It was just kind of interesting to listen to their views.

Why Blame Women?? Is it Really Our Fault??

I think we as African Americans do still focus too much on skin color or each other. Black is Black no matter how dark or light the individual is.  As we all know nobody can pick the color they are born with and because somebody is born with a lighter skin complexion doesn’t make them less black and just because somebody is a lot darker toned, doesn’t make them too black.  Also I feel that class still divides the African American community.  A family that is successful is viewed as not having endured “the struggle.” So question… just wondering…kinda curious… Does not growing up in poverty or dealing with some form of oppression, strip an individual of their blackness.  Over all I believe the black race spends too much time evaluating and judging each other’s circumstances and degrading one another and this is the reason we are  unable to achieve upward mobility as a race. 

 I am a firm believer that men are not as advanced as women due to the fact that many of our fathers are not in the same home.  A mother can be mom and dad but that only goes so far in the black home.  There is just something that a father can do for his son that a woman cannot.  Even if it is not the father, a positive male figure in the home would suffice. Also many African American men seek to live gain the career that is very slim to attain.  These jobs include basketball, football, and entertainment.  If far more men focused on school and obtaining a career on a more educational path, I believe this would help with the difference between the advancement in men and women.

29% of African American women between 28-55 years old and earning over $55,000, a year are married.  According to Cornel West, the ratio of black men to black women college students at Harvard between 1970 and the ratio has changed today to a 9-1 female.  It is interesting how today we focus on how much one gender over the other or one race over another advance more than the opposite but just years ago we were focused on ways to keep the black family together after slavery.  Most importantly ways to build the black community up after such a horrible oppression. 

         

Black Family Life

Eventsà

Early Days & Slavery

• ·       -  1746- Lucy Terry, a slave, composes “Bars Fight,” the first known poem by an African American.  A description of an Indian rain on Terry’s hometown in Massachusetts, the poem will be passed down orally and published in 1855.  This event to me was particularly interesting in that I’ve always heard that Phyllis Wheatly was one of the first known publishers of poems to arise during these times of oppression.  I would assume that in this time, her achieving this would spark many positive images of themselves as a collective people in that it was obvious that the race could and some were more educated than they were given credit for. 
• ·      -1787-   Free blacks in New York City found the African Free School, Where future leaders Henry Highland Garnett and Alexander Crummell are educated. Over all the creation of this education institution would educational opportunities for the African American community.  This would be important for Black Family Life in that education was not readily available because segregation was so prevalent still. 

   Nguzo Saba: (1) Kuumba (Creativity): To do always as much as we can, in a way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial that we inherited it.” (2). Imani (Faith) To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

Building Democracy

• ·         1866-The white supremacist organization known as the Klu-Klux-Klan is founded in Tennessee. The establishment of this organization would have had many effects on Black Family Life.  For instance it would have caused for community organization.  Together they would need to band together so ensure somewhat of a protection against the violence that would be geared towards them.  Also it may have impacted migration patterns because families would migrate to areas that they were less likely to encounter such organizations. 
• ·         1903- African American Sarah Breedlove MacWilliams, better known as Madam C.J. Walker, starts an African American hair-care business in Denver and eventually becomes America’s first self-made woman millionaire.  Not only is this great in the history of women’s movement and success but in the context of the impact it had on the race as a whole, it demonstrates entrepreneurship opportunities.  It would allow other African Americans to excel in areas that they were good at while at the same time benefiting their race and allowing for upward mobility. 

·         Nguzo Saba: (1) Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together. (2).  Kujichuaguua (Self Determination) To define ourselves, name ourselves,  create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.   

    Civil Rights Era

• ·          1955-Rosa Parks refuses to give up her seat on a Montgomery, Alabama bus to a white person, triggering a successful, year-long African American boycott of the bus system.  Although there other boycotts, this one is the most monumental because it ignited a real sense of community organizing that allowed for one of the longest and most successful boycotts in history. It also is an example of a social movements that would improve the quality of life because it was just one of the struggles that African Americans had to break through and break down. 
• ·         1962- African American radical Malcolm X becomes national Minister of the Nation of Islam. He rejects non-violent civil rights movement & becomes champion of African American separatism & black pride. His position in the community gave him the ability to influence tons of his followers.  Although he advocated for violence if necessary he was a part of the civil rights movement as well as social movements that would strive to improve the quality of life. 
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• Modern Day
• ·         1977-Andrew Young becomes the first African American person to serve as the U.S ambassador to the United States. The overall impact of this is the start of African Americans gaining access to political leadership positions in white America.  This would create a pathway for many others to achieve high levels in the government as well the race would now have an advocate to speak for them that could possibly be received better. 

• ·         1984- The Cosby Show starring African American comedian Bill Cosby, premieres on television.  It will become one of the most popular sit-coms in history.  It also departs from what had been the usual negative stereotyping of African American on television by showing an upper-middle class, professional well educated family.  Black Family Life had been portrayed very negatively but this had the opportunity to portray positive images of them-selves in entertainment.  It would also encourage families to strive for better work opportunities and demonstrated that a middle class lifestyle would be possible with education and a strong family structure. 

When thinking about the article on the Dynamic Duo, what caught my attention the most was his beginning story of how is father always made him pay to those different black geared organizations.  The principal Ujima (Collective Work & Responsibility) really was displayed here. I say this because early on he was given the responsibility to give to this organization regularly, so much so that it would become a habit and he was also being taught that just because he was middle class, it did not exclude him from being black.  This was the most interesting thing about the entire story because it was teaching him to value an education and the benefits that can come from it but was also teaching him Umoja (Unity).  Although he was not struggling, as an African American he could help those under him to continue to strive to also become middle class citizens. 

I found the clip we watched on Thursday to be very informative.  It was almost heartbreaking because it made me think about one of the first articles we read by Monyihan and how black’s oppression is self-inflicted.  The story about Jeremy was a realization that this is sometimes true.  He has complete control of the grades he receives but he seemed uninterested in improving them because he has this dream of becoming a basketball.  It was also sad to see that his mother was not supportive of this goal he had previously stated he would work on and this was demonstrated by them not showing up to the meeting to discuss his progress. It’s a sad realization that people don’t take advantage of opportunities presented to them when given the chance to better their situation.